We moved back to be closer to MY family. Things didn't work out so well for us in that town. A friend of #1 moved close by us, along with his girlfriend. Not good. #1 couldn't find work. I did as a server in a restaurant. Then came the accident. I was driving to the store, on back roads, with the friend's girlfriend when we got hit head-on by an old man who should not have been driving. The car was totaled & I was injured. So here we are, no car, no job, 2 kids and his asshole friend & his asshole girlfriend mooching off us. #1 went south to a cousin's who had his own business & needed help. Eventually we all ended up there (sans the friend & girlfriend...turned out, he was wanted by the FBI & took off to hide). This was even worse. The cousin, his wife, their 2 kids and us. Plus our dogs & cats. In one house. Aside from the kids, I am the only sober one!!! FUCK! We spent three months there, until we found our own house.
They were drinking every day and on the job. Smoking pot constantly. But hey, it's only pot, right? Yeah, a few hundred dollars worth of pot a week. I put the kids in daycare and school and found a job...or two...or three. It was getting uglier and uglier at home. We each had our own rooms. What kind of life is that? It got to the point where #1 was working but not making any money because the cousins were spending it before they made it. Spending it on alcohol, pot and (as i came to find out) coke. Jeez, will this nightmare ever end?!?! I found out about the coke one night when I had to meet #1 at his cousin's house after I got off work from one of my many jobs. The kids were all huddled on a quilt on the living room floor watching tv, while the "adults" were huddled in the pot & cigarette smoke filled kitchen. I could see their jaws going a mile a minute. I sneaked upstairs while they were in a heated discussion & found lines of coke on the glass portion of their child's photograph. My eldest child was nervous and demanding to leave, so I went in & told #1 it was time to go. This led to an argument, which both his cousin & his wife thought they had a right to get into. So I went in the other room, took my kids & left. Fuck them!
#1 could/ would no longer associate with anyone who didn't smoke pot. When he had none, he wouldn't get out of bed & everything was a fight. He would roll joints to put at his bedside table to smoke when he rolled over at night. His cousin's wife got a settlement of over $100K...that was gone, up their noses & into their lungs, in a matter of months. This was crazy, what the hell I was I doing here & what was I doing to my kids. I appealed to #1, said I would take the kids & leave if this didn't stop. Again, I must give credit where credit is due, he tried. We tried to rekindle (?) what we had. There really wasn't anything of substance there to rekindle. We both failed miserably.
One last bang-up blow-out fight. He'd barricaded himself into his room and was playing music or tv at the loudest possible volume. It was late on a Saturday night. I forced my way into his room and we fought!!!! Yelled and accused and cursed out. We said the meanest possible things to one another. We called each other horrible names. At one point he pushed me up against the wall & spit in my face. The kids were in the other room . Crying, eldest was trying to intervene, she was only 8 years old. I grabbed the 4 year old, who was actually sleeping & wrapped him in a sheet, put him in the back seat of the car & strapped him in, ordered the 8 year old into the car...now! All the while #1 was ranting & yelling & threatening to kill me if I took HIS kids. I drove to a friend's house. It was after midnight. I was a mess, my kids were a mess. We camped out on the floor in one of her bedrooms that night. The next morning, I went back to our house. #1 had put all my things in garbage bags...that made packing easier for me. He wasn't there, he'd phoned the cousin, who picked him up & loaned him their car to go looking for me. I threw everything he'd packed for me & all the kids' stuff into our car. Packed the kids in & as soon as I was set to leave, up pulled #1. Yelling & threatening me in front of the kids. Telling our 8 year old she didn't have to go with me, that she was his. I drove away, like I was outrunning a giant tornado. Drove faster than was safe to drive, straight to my parents' house. I did the two-plus hour drive in record time. Shaking and checking the rear view mirror the entire time. Was he following me? Would he be crazy enough to try and run me off the road?
They let me stay, with the kids, but I had to pay my own way. That was fine with me. I got there on a Sunday afternoon. On Monday morning I went to the court house to get the required paperwork for divorce. Put a fork in me, I was DONE!!!!!!
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